Why do we lose it? How do we lose it? When do we lose it?

          This is my grandson, Yosef Nakash.  Yosef is 20 months old.  The hat he's wearing in the picture does not belong with his pajama ensemble.  But he found it lying around and decided that it would be funny if he wore it.  Then he walked around the apartment, proud of his fashion sense and the silly outfit he created.
          Yosef is happy from the time he gets up in the morning until he's back snug in his crib at day's end.  Yosef's life is a  study in inexhaustible elation and wonder.  Every moment presents another challenge, every fallen leaf or errant piece of sidewalk chalk is cause for celebration.
          Do you remember being that way?  Do you remember seeing the world as miraculous and amazing?  I do, and I wasn't even 20 months old at the time.  When I was 8, 9, 10, 11, and maybe even 12, the world was an astounding place indeed.    I was never going to grow old.  I was never going to get sick.  Hell, I was never going to die!  My head was wrapped up in turtles, lizards, and frogs, birds and bugs and butterflies.  There was Leave it to Beaver, I Love Lucy, and The Honeymooners.  
          There were my dreams of being a musician, which took flight with some early compositions that I still remember.  They were God-awful, but I didn't think so then.  There was my Martian imaginary friend, Fling Baboom.  He was a rock-and-roll singer back on his home planet.  I spent many happy hours with Fling, interviewing him on my radio show.  Sometimes he would even sing for the audience, usually his Martian smash hit, "Syato Limpufo."    
          I guess it's unrealistic to think that I never got upset or angry, but my recollections of my childhood are by-and-large warm and fuzzy and fine.  There was magic everywhere.  I did just enough homework and schoolwork to get by.  My parents knew they had a reasonably bright kid on their hands, but a dreamer whom they had no idea how to handle.  I'm convinced that nowadays I'd be diagnosed with something: ADD, ADHD, Asberger's, Learning Disability.  I was none of those things.  I was bored!  I didn't give a rat's pitoot about anything they were trying to cram into my incredibly malleable brain.  My world was my amusement park.
          So what happened? When does the jaundice set in?  Where does the sarcasm come from?  What do we become when we stop listening to the little boy inside who knows what to do?  It hurts to know that he's been in there all along, yelling on top of his lungs, "Hey!  You're fucking this up!" and that he's been drowned out by the cacophony of other misguided, ugly pronouncements.  The Voice of Reason.  The Voice of Maturity.  The Voice of Responsibility.  The Voice of Experience.  You know what?  Those voices might be occasionally helpful, even  necessary.  But not at the expense of the Young You.  The Young You is sometimes right.  In fact, check that:  The Young You is almost always right.  And the tragedy of our lives is that once you let the magic slip away, it's damn near impossible to get it back.

I'm the one on the left

               

72 VIRGINS

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Wake Up, People!

   

          The fact that I might not be around for the coming next Holocaust is of little solace.  And make no mistake: it is coming.  We have gutless, feckless Muslim in the White House who is either unable or unwilling (doesn't matter which, does it?) to lead.  The Leader of the Free World is too busy on the links or attending fundraisers to be bothered by a world in flames.  "Osama Bin Laden" is dead they crowed before the 2012 presidential election.  But we who love this country and recognize what is going on in the world around us and understand that this stuff is all interconnected are apparently outnumbered by the morons ensconced in NewYork, Chicago, Detroit, and L.A.  The takers don't give a shit about this country and don't give a shit about what will happen to their kids when they're all going to be speaking Farsi; hell, they don't give a shit about their kids now!  New kid means a bigger check from Uncle Sam, so let's make a few more.

          But I digress.  ISIS has already established a growing extremist, fundamentalist caliphate across much of the region in the Middle East.  Ostensibly anti-Zionist (read: anti-Jew) demonstrations and attacks have become commonplace throughout much of Europe.  In France, protesters have stormed synagogues yelling “Hitler was right!” and “Death to the Jews!” — apparently forgetting in the heat of the moment that what they’re supposed to be upset by is disproportionate Israeli attacks in Gaza, not that Adolf Hitler didn’t finish the job.  The verbal calling card of protesters in Berlin a few weeks ago was, “Jude, Jude feiges Schwein! Komm heraus und kämpf allein!” Translation: “Jew, Jew, cowardly swine, come out and fight on your own!”
The former president of the Central Council of Jews said, “We would never in our lives have thought it possible anymore that anti-Semitic views of the nastiest and most primitive kind can be chanted on German streets.”
          So between the Muslim Savages and the burgeoning new wave of anti-Semitism, is there even a doubt that we're in deep shit?  And please do not think that of the Atlantic Ocean as our savior.  If 9/11 accomplished anything, it taught us (at least I hope it did) that we are not immune to attack within our shores.  Do you have any idea how many home-grown terrorists are hiding in  their holes right now, just waiting for the word to kill infidels?  I don't either.  But I'll betcha it's more than the two Tsarnaev brothers who bombed the Boston Marathon.

Albacore Tuna Hanging: Done By Humans.
(at least he still has his head)

       

Nicholas Berg Hanging: Done By Animals.

          A few years ago I watched the video of the beheading of Nicholas Berg.  At the beginning he is sitting on the floor in an orange jumpsuit, with a group of black-clad, masked barbarians behind him.  One of them is reading a statement in Arabic, and when he's done, the group descends on poor Nick Berg.  They push him to the ground and start hacking his head off.  You know how when they used to use a guillotine, the blade would come rushing down and then — THUNK — the guy would swiftly be relieved of his head and it would gently plop into a waiting basket?  Well, as horrific as that sounds, at least: A. It was quick, and B. The guy knew what was coming.  Well, Nick Berg was denied both of those dubious luxuries.  One minute he's sitting on the floor, wondering what the fuck the animal behind him is prattling on about, and the next minute he's being held down, feeling cold, hard steel against his carotid artery.  He screams, and it's the most blood-curdling, gut wrenching sound I've ever heard.  Thankfully, it doesn't last more than a few seconds, but imagine what was going through his mind before he lost consciousness.  Helluva way to die, right?  They keep hacking away at his neck, screaming "allah hu akhbar" (oh, was I supposed to capitalize allah?  Well, fuck that), until Nick's head is completely severed, whereupon it is help up in triumph for all the world to see. Gee, I wonder why the neanderthals are wearing masks?
          Anyway, I had to watch it two or three times, not because of any macabre sensibilities on my part, but rather because my mind simply could not absorb what my eyes had witnessed.  Were there actually people in the 21st century that still did stuff like that??  That's when I decided that that brutally unwatchable video should be required watching for every person on the planet, just to make sure that we never forget whom...or rather what...we're dealing with.  I was going to provide a link to the video in this post, but it has apparently finally been removed from YouTube.  But check out the photo of Nicholas above, hanging upside down, sans head.  It'll give you a least a taste of the horror of the video.  Look at it.  Remember it.  And WAKE THE FUCK UP, PEOPLE!

     

No Wonder He's So Scared Of Putin!

Obama After Being Briefed

Obama After Being Debriefed

Barak's Greatest Hits

So I Googled "Obama's Lies" just to see what came up.  One guy had a list of 800.  Two others had lists of 252.  However, since brevity is the soul of wit, I shall list twenty of my all-time favorites lies and Obama-isms, in no particular order:

1.  "We will close the detention camp at Guantanamo Bay."

2.  "If we have not gotten our troops out [of Iraq] by he time I am president, it is the first thing I will do."

3.  "Today I'm pledging to cut the deficit in half by the end of my first term in office."

4.  "As soon as we're out of this recession, we've got to get serious about starting to live within our means."

5.  We agree on reforms that will reduce the cost of healthcare.  Families will save on their premiums."


6.  "We've got shovel-ready projects across the country."

7.  "We reject the use of national security...to spy on citizens who are not suspected of a crime."

8.  "We will insure that federal contracts over $25,000 are competitively bid.

9.  "We will eliminate all income taxation of seniors making less than $50,000 per year."

10. "We are going to work with you to lower your [healthcare] premiums by $2,500 and we'll do it by the end of my first term as president."

11.  "I don't take a dime of their [lobbyists'] money, and when I am president, they won't find a job in my White House."

12.  "I pledge to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution."  (That's a particularly funny one.)

13.  If you've got a business — you didn't build that.  Somebody else made that happen."

14.  "The sequester is not something that I've proposed.  It is something that Congress has proposed."

15.  "I didn't set a red line [in Syria]."

16.  "It's here that companies like Solyndra are leading the way toward a brighter and more prosperous future."

17.  To Israel:  "We have not only made sure that they [Iran] have to stop adding additional centrifuges, we've also said that they're got to roll back their 20% advancement enrichment ...down to zero."

18.  "Eighty percent of Americans support including higher taxes as part of the [debt ceiling] deal."

19.  In 2006: "America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership.  Americans deserve better.  I, therefore, intend to oppose the effort to increase America's debt limit."

And, of course we cannot forget Politifact's 2013 Lie of the Year : "If you like your healthcare plan, you'll be able to keep your healthcare plan, period.  No one will take it away, no matter what...You can keep your family doctor."

My Favorite Mythological Creatures

The Centaur

The Easter Bunny

Bigfoot

The Unicorn

The Loch Ness Monster

Santa Claus

 And last but not least...

The Moderate Muslim

Important Reading

I got this in an email.  I'm reprinting it here in its entirety. 

Rabbi Steven Pruzansky
Congregation B'nai Yeshurun
Teaneck, New Jersey

 This provocative article by a Jewish Rabbi from Teaneck , N.J. far and away the most succinct and thoughtful explanation of how our nation is changing. The article appeared in The Israel National News, and is directed primarily to Jewish readership. 70% of American Jews vote as Democrats. The Rabbi has some interesting comments in that regard.

"The most charitable way of explaining the election results of 2012 is that Americans voted for the status quo - for the incumbent President and for a divided Congress. They must enjoy gridlock, partisanship, incompetence, economic stagnation and avoidance of responsibility. And fewer people voted.

But as we awake from the nightmare, it is important to eschew the facile explanations for the Romney defeat that will prevail among the chattering classes. Romney did not lose because of the effects of Hurricane Sandy that devastated this area, nor did he lose because he ran a poor campaign, nor did he lose because the Republicans could have chosen better candidates, nor did he lose because Obama benefited from a slight uptick in the economy due to the business cycle.
Romney lost because he didn't get enough votes to win.

Nice, decent, albeit hapless man

That might seem obvious, but not for the obvious reasons. Romney lost because the conservative virtues - the traditional American virtues – of liberty, hard work, free enterprise, private initiative and aspirations to moral greatness - no longer inspire or animate a majority of the electorate. Romney lost because he didn't get enough votes to win.
That might seem obvious, but not for the obvious reasons. Romney lost because the conservative virtues - the traditional American virtues – of liberty, hard work, free enterprise, private initiative and aspirations to moral greatness - no longer inspire or animate a majority of the electorate. The simplest reason why Romney lost was because it is impossible to compete against free stuff.
Every businessman knows this; that is why the "loss leader" or the giveaway is such a powerful marketing tool. Obama's America is one in which free stuff is given away: the adults among the 47,000,000 on food stamps clearly recognized for whom they should vote, and so they did, by the tens of millions; those who - courtesy of Obama - receive two full years of unemployment benefits (which, of course, both disincentivizes looking for work and also motivates people to work off the books while collecting their windfall) surely know for whom to vote. The lure of free stuff is irresistible.

The defining moment of the whole campaign was the revelation of the secretly-recorded video in which Romney acknowledged the difficulty of winning an election in which "47% of the people" start off against him because they pay no taxes and just receive money - "free stuff" - from the government.

Almost half of the population has no skin in the game - they don't care about high taxes, promoting business, or creating jobs, nor do they care that the money for their free stuff is being borrowed from their children and from the Chinese.

They just want the free stuff that comes their way at someone else's expense. In the end, that 47% leaves very little margin for error for any Republican, and does not bode well for the future.

It is impossible to imagine a conservative candidate winning against such overwhelming odds. People do vote their pocketbooks. In essence, the people vote for a Congress who will not raise their taxes, and for a President who will give them free stuff, never mind who has to pay for it.

That engenders the second reason why Romney lost: the inescapable conclusion that the electorate is ignorant and uninformed. Indeed, it does not pay to be an informed voter, because most other voters - the clear majority – are unintelligent and easily swayed by emotion and raw populism. That is the indelicate way of saying that too many people vote with their hearts and not their heads. That is why Obama did not have to produce a second term agenda, or even defend his first-term record. He needed only to portray Mitt Romney as a rapacious capitalist who throws elderly women over a cliff, when he is not just snatching away their cancer medication, while starving the poor and cutting taxes for the rich.

During his 1956 presidential campaign, a woman called out to Adlai Stevenson: "Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!" Stevenson called back: "That's not enough, madam, we need a majority!" Truer words were never spoken.

Obama could get away with saying that "Romney wants the rich to play by a different set of rules" - without ever defining what those different rules were; with saying that the "rich should pay their fair share" - without ever defining what a "fair share" is; with saying that Romney wants the poor, elderly and sick to "fend for themselves" - without even acknowledging that all these government programs are going bankrupt, their current insolvency only papered over by deficit spending. 

Similarly, Obama (or his surrogates) could hint to blacks that a Romney victory would lead them back into chains and proclaim to women that their abortions and birth control would be taken away. He could appeal to Hispanics that Romney would have them all arrested and shipped to Mexico and unabashedly state that he will not enforce the current immigration laws. He could espouse the furtherance of the incestuous relationship between governments and unions - in which politicians ply the unions with public money, in exchange for which the unions provide the politicians with votes, in exchange for which the politicians provide more money and the unions provide more votes, etc., even though the money is gone.

Obama also knows that the electorate has changed - that whites will soon be a minority in America (they're already a minority in California) and that the new immigrants to the US are primarily from the Third World and do not share the traditional American values that attracted immigrants in the 19th and 20th centuries. It is a different world, and a different America . Obama is part of that different America , knows it, and knows how to tap into it. That is why he won.

Obama also proved again that negative advertising works, invective sells, and harsh personal attacks succeed. That Romney never engaged in such diatribes points to his essential goodness as a person; his "negative ads" were simple facts, never personal abuse - facts about high unemployment,
lower take-home pay, a loss of American power and prestige abroad, a lack of leadership, etc. As a politician, though, Romney failed because he did not embrace the devil's bargain of making unsustainable promises.

It turned out that it was not possible for Romney and Ryan - people of substance, depth and ideas - to compete with the shallow populism and platitudes of their opponents. Obama mastered the politics of envy – of class warfare - never reaching out to Americans as such but to individual groups, and cobbling together a winning majority from these minority groups. If an Obama could not be defeated - with his record and his vision of America , in which free stuff seduces voters - it is hard to envision any change in the future.

The road to Hillary Clinton in 2016 and to a European-socialist economy - those very economies that are collapsing today in Europe - is paved.

For Jews, mostly assimilated anyway and staunch Democrats, the results demonstrate again that liberalism is their Torah. Almost 70% voted for a
president widely perceived by Israelis and most committed Jews as hostile to Israel . They voted to secure Obama's future at America 's expense and at Israel 's expense - in effect, preferring Obama to Netanyahu by a wide margin.

A dangerous time is ahead. Under present circumstances, it is inconceivable that the US will take any aggressive action against Iran and will more likely thwart any Israeli initiative. The US will preach the importance of negotiations up until the production of the first Iranian nuclear weapon - and then state that the world must learn to live with this new reality.

But this election should be a wake-up call to Jews. There is no permanent empire, nor is there an enduring haven for Jews anywhere in the exile. The American empire began to decline in 2007, and the deterioration has been exacerbated in the last five years. This election only hastens that decline.
Society is permeated with sloth, greed, envy and materialistic excess. It has lost its moorings and its moral foundations.. The takers outnumber the givers, and that will only increase in years to come.

The "Occupy" riots across this country in the last two years were mere dress rehearsals for what lies ahead - years of unrest sparked by the increasing discontent of the unsuccessful who want to seize the fruits and the bounty of the successful, and do not appreciate the slow pace of redistribution.

If this election proves one thing, it is that the Old America is gone. And, sad for the world, it is not coming back."

Scary shit, n'est-ce pas?  (The rabbi didn't say that, I did; rabbis don't talk like that, silly)

Wanna Comment?

          One of my loyal readers — okay; probably my only loyal reader, asked me the other day why he couldn't leave comments about a post.  Frankly, I hadn't even noticed that there was no mechanism in place with which to leave one's two cents.  Anyway, just so you know: Blogger (i.e. Google) has no live tech support available anywhere.  And I mean anywhere.
Somehow I got through to them the first time I called in about ten minutes.  The young lady gave me a support website to go to where, she assured me, I would be able to solve my issue. Right. I've tried to call back since then twice.  Friday and today (Monday).  I was on hold Friday for 47 minutes and today for roughly an hour and a half.  Come on; how much elevator music can one person listen to, for crying out loud?
          So I started futzing around with the blog on my own and guess what?  I discovered that you actually can comment!  All you have to do is click on the title of the post and a window opens up at the bottom wherein you can leave your own personal nugget of brilliance.  As long as you agree with me.  Just kidding.

Gratuitous Bikini Babe Photo

Why Obama Killed Osama

Obama

Osama

          Most people think that Obama killed Osama because it was politically expedient.  While I believe that that was certainly part of the reason, I think there were other considerations as well.  Here are just some of my theories.
1.  Envy:  While OBL was able to practice his faith in public, BHO has to be a closet Muslim in order to advance Allah's agenda.
2.  R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  As we know, now that Dipshit has been in office for six years or so, there's virtually nowhere in the world where people think he's anything more than a narcissistic empty suit.  World leaders (e.g. Assad, Putin, Netanyahu) have long dismissed him as either a bumbling clown or irrelevant or both.  He is despised by the right and the left ain't too crazy about him anymore, either.  Two places where folks still love him: among his base of Low Information Voters, and in the mirror.  Osama, however, was revered by Allah fans the world over.  Even the ones that wouldn't admit it.

Navy Seal

3.  Power:  One would think that the "Leader of the Free World" (God help us) would be able to do pretty much whatever his little black heart desired, right?  Like something really spectacular to cement his place in history as a mover and a shaker.  But Dipshit had to admit to himself that that whole World Trade Center Stunt was pretty cool, and something a man in his position would never have been able to pull off, Harry Reid's support notwithstanding ("The president's blue ribbon commission determined that because, according to public record, the Twin Towers were built on landfill which consisted of 27.4% non-biodegradable materials such as styrofoam, the buildings had to be dismantled for the greater good of saving the planet and the most expedient method of bringing them down was flying a couple jetliners into those suckers.").
4.  It was all a big misunderstanding.  The Navy Seals  were supposed to deliver three Stealth helicopters to Bin Laden to help in his quest to eliminate all infidels except Celine Dion (apparently he can't get enough of the Canadian songstress) and one of them crashed rather noisily, waking up the whole compound.  Achmed and Abdul, two of the guards on duty that faithful night, were not informed of the plan and consequently opened fire on the hapless intruders, and Osama was caught in the crossfire when he came out on his terrace, yelling "What the fuck?!  For Allah's sake, would you keep it down out here?  I'm binge-watching 'Breaking Bad'!"
5.  Jealousy.

Lookin' good, Monica!

Upon assuming the office of POTUS, among Dipshit's first Exectutive Orders was calling Monica Lewinsky, wanting to see whether she had the chops to handle a (half) black man.  He had heard that those Jewish girls went down like submarines, but he personally had not yet experienced the fellatiotic* expertise of a Zionist heathen.  Monica, however, had turned him down, stating that although the offer was quite tempting, she was previously occupied, just settling into her new position as spokesperson for the Hoover vacuum cleaner company.  When she mentioned, however, that she had been flown to Abbottabad to get a little taste (operative word "little") of Islam from OBL, it was simply too much for ol' Dipshit to bear.

* I don't know if "fellatiotic" is an actual word, but I needed it, so now it is.

Required Watching

Andrew Bolt is a commentator on Australian TV.  Please watch this video.  It's important.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc7JahRoQyY&feature=youtu.be

Andrew Bolt

Not Human

King Barak the Compassionate

King Barak the Compassionate

Y'know, the world has a hell of a lot of nerve intruding on King Barak's planned vacation in Martha's Vineyard!  And by the way, isn't it amazing that he loves going to Martha's Vineyard so much, maybe the whitest spot in the country?  Never see him vacationing in Detroit, do ya?  Anyway, ISIS is slaughtering Yazidi people, whom I never heard of, but probably deserve to live anyway, so he's gotta do something, dammit! Notice he doesn't do shit while about his buddies carry out an ethnic cleansing of Christians; wonder what Reverend Wright has to say about that.  So he's gonna drop a few bombs and then do what he's really good at: walk away.  After all; he may need a new five iron or something. Oh, and then there's the

Dying of Ebola

Ebola outbreak.  Some reporter had the nerve to ask him at a totally unrelated press conference to tout his new one-handed jump shot or some such thing why we're not sending this apparently miraculous anti-ebola drug that's recently been developed and hasn't yet been approved by the FDA but has been given to American Ebola victims.  Um, he answered her.  Kinda, sorta.  Click the link below; you'll agree that without a teleprompter the man turns into a blithering idiot who says absolutely nothing intelligle. Wanna know why he won't send any drugs?  Same reason he won't send any arms to Ukraine: he doesn't know how it'll play politically.  Will it help or hurt his agenda?  And when he doesn't know, which is almost always, especially in the area of Foreign Affairs, in which he has about as much expertise as a paraplegic platypus, cerebral inertia sets in and he does nothing.  Unless Israel's involved; then he's got time to condemn and make demands.  Omigod, how I detest this man.  How is it that so many of you out there don't see what I see?  Shit, I'm not even that bright!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9FtSMldCYA

Okay, okay...I'm a racist

Obama's Dad: Barak Senior,
a black Muslim from Kenya

Obama's Mom:
Ann Dunham from Kansas...
doesn't get much whiter than that.

          So Juan Williams has declared me a racist.  On Fox News Sunday, he opined that all the folks calling for Obama's impeachment are racist.  "There's a lot of Republicans who think this man is a demon [personally, I wouldn't want to insult the demons].  This guy is awful.  We got to get this guy out of here any way we can.  He's breaking the law."
          Host Chris Wallace pressed him on the matter, asking if he was saying that the president's opposition was race based.  Williams answered, "Well, all I can do is look at the numbers.  If you look at the core constituency of the people who are in the Tea Party in support of impeachment, there's no diversity, it's a white, older group of people."
          Okay, let's examine this a little more closely.  There are other evil people in the Democrat Party who I wish would fall off a cliff.  Hatchet Face Pelosi, for one.  She's maybe the whitest member of Congress.  Is my hatred (yes, I admit it, it's hatred) of the bitch "race based?"  No?  Well, then, I must be part of the Republicans' well known "War on women," although frankly, I'm not sure she qualifies as female.
          Then there's Harry Reid, one of the vilest creatures on the planet.  If Harry Reid was swallowed by an Anaconda which in turn was devoured by a crocodile that was eventually cut up and used to chum the water for great white sharks, I would not hesitate to rent Tavern on the Green and throw a "Hallelujah, Harry's Gone!" bash for just about everyone I've ever met.  So what does that make me?  A self-hating old white guy?
          Did you know that 9-0 Supreme Court decisions are quite rare?  When a case lines up every single Justice — appointed by both Democrats and Republicans — the decision must be unbelievably clear cut.  Did you know that the Obama Administration has racked up...wait for it...twenty, count 'em, twenty unanimous Supreme Court losses in under six years?  When even Sonya Sotomayor and Elena Kagan, his two appointees, vote against him, how far from the Constitution must he strayed?
          Now let's examine the other side of this unfortunate coin.  In 2008 Obama received 96% of the black vote.  In 2012, after four years of unmitigated, indisputable failure, he garnered 93%.  He lost a fucking 3% in the black community.  Think race had anything to do this that?  Did you know that according to the non-partisan Pew Research Center, the percentage of blacks who have ever received Food Stamps is roughly double (31%) that of whites (15%)?  Ya think maybe all our brothers and sisters of color stuck with their man because they were scared shitless that those mean ol' Republican crackers woulda put the brakes on their gravy train and they might have had to (gasp!) get a job?
          The fact is that I loathe Barak Hussein Obama not because he's (half) black, but because I believe he is an evil, dangerous man.  I believe that he's a closet Muslim who would be perfectly fine with the US adopting Sharia Law.  Ever see the movie "The Manchurian Candidate?"  It's about a communist plot to get one of their own into the White House.  I believe that it's not too far fetched to think that Obama's our president because the murdering thugs of radical Islam whom the left portray as poor, misunderstood individuals representing a religion of peace, want a world-wide caliphate and he's just the man to help them make it happen.  Think I'm crazy?  God, I hope you're right.  But I don't think you are.

God help us.

Obama Makes Me Nauseous

          I voted for John McCain in 2008.  Not necessarily because I thought he'd make a great president, but because I knew so very little about the other guy.  Obama was presented to us as pretty much a tabula rasa, except for a few details that were quite disconcerting.  I was bothered by his relationships with "Reverend" Wright, Bill Ayres, and Bernadine Dohrn.  It was puzzling to me that he just appeared on the scene out of nowhere with virtually no credentials, except as a "Community Organizer" (read: rabble-rouser), a short stint as a State Senator in that den of iniquity known as Illinois, and an even briefer, particularly unremarkable stretch in the US Senate, where he distinguished himself by voting "present" 129 times.  Let's face it: we knew nothing about this guy except that his politics were radically left wing and he was a pretty good speaker.  So being the good Republican and faithful Limbaugh/Hannity/Levin acolyte that I am, I voted for McCain.

Hen's Teeth

          My point is that when Dipshit got elected, I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Hey, I have a sense of history, just like everyone else.  We actually elected a black president.  Never thought I'd see it in my lifetime.  People tend to think of the country as New York, Boston, Philly, Chicago, Detroit and L.A.  But there are thousand of little towns spread out in Nebraska and Wyoming and Idaho where blacks are as rare as hen's teeth.  But McCain was your typical weak Republican candidate, so history was indeed made.
          My nausea started shortly thereafter.  Here, in no particular order, are just a few examples of why I am convinced that Barak Who's Sane Obama is the worst president of my lifetime and probably of all time; he makes Jimmy Carter look like a statesman:
1.  "The police acted stupidly."
2.  The 700 billion dollar so-called stimulus bill that might possibly have given Hatchet Face Pelosi her first orgasm since the Clinton Administration ("Oh, bill, can I please just sniff the cigar?") and may or may not have stimulated Obama and Biden, but not much else.  Remember?  "Shovel ready was not as shovel ready as we expected."
3. Solyndra.
4. Non-prosecution of the New Black Panthers for voter intimidation.
5. Non-enforcement of deportation laws.
6. Non-enforcement of DOMA.
7. Attacking Libya without congressional approval.
8. Fast and Furious.
9. Benghazi.
10. IRS targeting of Tea Party groups and other Obama "enemies."
11. Culling the phone records of Associated Press reporters.
12. Monitoring James Rosen's phones and emails.
13. Eric Holder perjuring himself not once, but twice, before Congress.
14. The burgeoning VA scandal, which has undoubtedly led to the untimely and unnecessary deaths of countless of our brave veterans.
15. His Executive Action end-runs around Congress: "I've got a pen and a phone."  The incredible hubris and arrogance of this man!
16.  He traded five murdering terrorists for Bowe Bergdahl, a deserter responsible for the deaths of several members of his unit.
17.  And of course, the pièce de résistance:  OBAMACARE!
          I have so much more to write about our rabidly anti-Semitic, communist Muslim-in-Chief (no doubt about it), but I'm going to split my vitriol into a few more posts, just for the fun of it.  And by the way: is John Kerry not the absolute dumbest looking politician the world has ever known?

Warning: Potentially Offensive Material Ahead!

          Because I sent the link to this blog to a lot of people, I need to clarify something: this is where I intend to let it all hang out (figuratively speaking, of course).  You see, this is one of the only forums in which I can express myself in writing the same way I express myself in real life.  My sense of humor, for example, is rather unique in that it runs the gamut (more about gamut running later) from intellectual and/or witty to sophomoric and/or scatological.  If you'd like to know more about how I feel about the ludicrousness and arbitrariness (I'm not sure if those are real words, but I needed them, so now they are) about so-called dirty words, please listen to George Carlin's brilliant routine, "Seven words you can never say on TV":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqvLTJfYnik   If, however, you don't want ever to hear any dirty words in any context, then please don't listen to it, because you're liable to be offended, and I wouldn't want that.
     Some folks have told me that it's unseemly for me to use offensive language or tell dirty jokes.  Unseemly?  Why, because I'm 63?  Why does my age matter?  Am I any less respectable or wise because I sometimes feel the need to use what our society has arbitrarily deemed an unacceptable word or phrase to properly express myself?  Sorry, I just don't buy it.
          I've been doing a lot of writing lately.  My letters to the Flatbush Jewish Journal have become a welcome outlet in which I can critique and otherwise comment on some of the stranger phenomena that occur within my somewhat insane community.  But, as mentioned in the last post, I'm pretty limited in what I can say there, and understandably so, I guess.  Then there's the writing I do for my classes at Gotham Writers' Workshop.  I've been attending Gotham for a few years now, and I'm having an absolute blast.  So far I've taken Creative Writing, Fiction I, Fiction II, Humor Writing, Song Writing I, Memoir Writing I, and I'm presently taking Stand-up Comedy (more about that later, too).  Obviously I can be a little more expressive there than in the FJJ, but here's the place where I can really blow off steam.
          I wrote this post because I sent this link to my my kids and nieces and nephews and others who might want to know my intentions.  So now that you have been duly informed, you proceed at your own risk!

     

Hi, Everybody!

          Welcome to my new blog.  I haven't posted to a blog since February 2, 2011, which was the farewell post on my other blog which was simply titled "Air."  Air was about my getting sick and almost dying in February of 2010 and then getting better and almost living.  During the year that I kept that blog active, I posted to it 167 times.  Then I ran out of clever or witty or deep things to say and lost interest and shut the whole thing down.  Actually, I had run out of clever or witty or deep things to say way before I shut it down, but I wanted to at least make it to the anniversary of my almost dying, so I kind of coasted for a while.  I set this blog up shortly thereafter and called it "This Too Shall Pass," because that had kind of become my mantra since I got sick, but I never posted to it.  Until today.
          It's Saturday night, (actually Sunday morning, since it's 1:09 AM) August 2nd (actually August 3rd.)  I've decided to resurrect my blogging career because many people who read my almost weekly letters in the Flatbush Jewish Journal have suggested that I start a blog as well.  The reason they suggested it is twofold, which means there are two reasons.  As far as I know, there is no reason the word "twofold" exists in this context.  I could perhaps understand using it when discussing, gee, I don't know, a towel or a piece of paper or even a slice of pizza, but not a reason.  After all, all you really have to say if there are two reasons for something is, "there are two reasons for _________ (You're supposed to fill in the blank.  You can be creative.  For example, you can write "there are two reasons I don't like wolverines."  Or maybe, "there are two reasons I don't wear underwear."  Go a little crazy; no one's gonna read it besides you, and maybe you'll giggle at yourself a little; I do that all the time).
          Anyway, back to the subject at hand.  And that's another thing: "At hand?"  Where did that idiom come from?  We already have "on hand," ("the caterer had no sweetbreads on hand") and "in hand" ("A bird in the hand..." Okay, there's a "the" in the middle, but try not to be so pedantic and picayune okay?  And no, "pedantic" has nothing to do with feet, and "pedantic and picayune" is a nice, albeit brief, example of the literary device known as "alliteration." And did you notice how I just snuck another reference to underwear [see 'brief"] into this post?).  On hand kind of makes sense, because you can put something on [your] hand, like a Band-Aid or a radish, and you can certainly put something in [your] hand, like a potato or a tree.  But at hand??  How can something be at hand? 
          I need to learn a new language because English gives me a headache.  And why is it capitalized?  I don't know.  But I never learn a new language because I can never decide which would be the most useful: Spanish, Russian, or Sanskrit.  And those "Rosetta Stone" things are crazy expensive.  My granddaughter is three and a half and she's bilingual, and she only has one tongue.  I think.  I never really checked, but I assume she only has one tongue because I think I would have heard about it if she had more than one, probably soon after she was born.         
Here are the reasons for this new blog.  There are two of them, by the way:
1.  It gives me a chance to say things I can't say in my letters to the FJJ, because they would be too controversial or confrontational or con carne.  Lots of times I send in a letter and Mordy (Mehlman; he's the Editor-In-Chief, which, I'm pretty sure, is also capitalized) sees fit to redact it and leave out all the good stuff (note to self: check to see whether the word "dact" exists, as in "I dacted the letter, reread it, and then redacted it.").  Sometimes he brings it to certain rabbis to read and they say, "Are you insane?  You can't print that!"  Two of the rabbis he brings my letters to are Rabbi Yisroel Reisman (pretty normal guy) and Rabbi Eliezer Ginsburg (not so good normal).  See?  That was a perfect example of something I could never write anywhere else, not even in the Coffee Room of theyeshivaworld.com.  Did you know that it's called "The Yeshiva World," not just plain "Yeshiva World?"  Do you care?
2.  It affords me the opportunity to reach a wider audience and thereby spread my rather skewed humor and opinions and manly seed throughout the world.  Okay, maybe not that last one.  That ship has pretty much sailed, anyway.
          Hopefully I'll post more things to this blog as more epiphanies and/or brilliances pop up in my little pea brain.  That doesn't happen too often, so don't hold your breath, but you might want to check back here every so often, like maybe once a day or something.